Being Young With a Salary Job

Thinking about the next chapter in your life such as finding a career is scary and being fresh out of college wondering what’s next can be even scarier.

For me, I never really gave my career much thought throughout college because, honestly, I was just enjoying the realm of college. I was meeting new people, doing hands on work, learning about my future field, I really didn’t put much thought into what it was exactly that I would do once I graduated, it was just the thought of making it there.

It wasn’t until I was in the midst of my internship that I truly thought what in the world am I going to do once this is over? School will be done, my internship will end, and I’ll actually have to be a real life adult. As ridiculous as that sounds I feel like almost every young (or older) college student can relate to that funk, that feeling of well am I’m not really a teenager anymore, but am I really an adult? What does that even entail?

I remember sitting at my desk during the days that lead up to the end of my internship chapter and having all of these pressuring thoughts. Turns out while I was in my head worrying my higher colleagues were thinking of hiring me and eventually they did just that. Of course I jumped at the opportunity, I was 19 years old, basically on my own and saw it as an amazing opportunity, I was over the freaking moon when I was asked.

However looking back there is one thing that I still remember from that conversation, it was when my soon-to-be colleague asked “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t know if I could be 19 and have a salary job.” I just brushed it off and thought well, I’m doing this. For some reason those words have just stuck with me. I’m not totally sure why.

Almost two and a half years later and I’m still working that exact same salary job. I would definitely say that there are a number of things that I have learned and I do enjoy what I do, but I ‘d be lying if I said there weren’t experiences I feel that I have missed out on.

I’m young. Sometimes I wish I could go out with my friends who are still students on a dollar beer Thursday night and sleep in the next day and then go to my afternoon class or travel with my friends when they have their reading week or spring break, but those things don’t exactly align with my schedule anymore. I also am nervous as to what’s next for me after this, what if things don’t work out? Will I ever succeed more than this? Or is this my peak? Which I get can sound totally ridiculous seeing as I am only 22 years old, but these are honestly the pressures that I feel from society and my own mind telling me I always have to succeed.

Don’t get me wrong, you can totally be young with a salary job and do a majority of the things that you used to, but I also feel like I am just on such a different path than all of my friends that it sometimes can be hard to relate to them, which is when I then constantly ask myself a string of questions: Am I too young for this? Should I have waited later on in life to have a professional lifestyle so young? Should I travel instead? There are so many scenarios that I have run through my head, but I’ve come to terms that my friends will still be there, experiences will come, and overall, as cliché as it sounds, life truly is what you make it.

In fact, sometimes I feel like I’m back to square one, that fresh out of college kid who had nothing figured out, because that’s just it, you could be 22 years old and not have it all figured out or you could be 60 years old. Life is about not figuring it out and just riding the waves as you go.

I’m still improving and growing and I am learning everyday to not be so hard on myself, to relax, be optimistic, to not let the pressures and standards of society overlap with my morals and self worth, to live in the now, and to realize that this is just an early chapter in my novel of a life.

 

 P.S.: I’ve never written anything like this before. Kind of nervous that this makes me sound like a whiny millennial who’s never worked a day in her life (Not true people I swear)

 

P.P.S: Maybe I do make whiny millennial tweets and posts sometimes, meh. @mariahpardy