How To Find Balance

Balance: an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

“Steady"? If that’s the definition of balance, how is a balanced life even possible?!

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Hi HIH Family, Daphne here!

I’m writing to you about this idea of “balance” everyone likes to talk about these days.

As I’ve mentioned, I run a social media and online marketing company. As such, my work never really stops. Between current news and real-time content, there is always something the team is working on. Social media is 24/7.

Every time I scroll through my phone there’s an opportunity to tune into work. Awesome, so if my industry technically never sleeps, how am I supposed to ‘turn off’ or ‘disconnect’? I’m not.... Balance isn't real. It’s just about how you weigh the scales.

I’ve been to a few conferences and spoke to many of my mentors about this concept of balance and as of today, here’s my take.

  1. There is no one balance fits all. You have to decide what works for you (priorities). Do you enjoy working over 40 hours a week? I currently do! (Shout out to my entrepreneurs!) Do you genuinely love what you do (minus the occasional BS - a little BS is inevitable). Then working more than playing is totally okay. Don’t make money the determining factor. Listen to your gut. Allocate your time as best you can in order of your priorities and what brings the most fulfillment.

  2. What works today might not work tomorrow. And that’s totally okay. If you can/want/need to work 16 hour days because you know it will make a difference, get it gurrrl! If you’re working because you’ve decided it’s going to bring you closer to completing the never ending to do list… stop, reflect and think again. The to-dos never stop. Ever.

  3. Balance is relative. Some weeks you can bang out +40 hours, some weeks you can’t. What you need to to is recognize where on the balance scale you are and adjust your to-dos accordingly, week to week, day to day. Being on all the time is not sustainable. Science has shown us this time and time again. It’s appreciating what you can undertake and respecting what you can’t.

  4. Pick your piece of the pie. Having the ‘perfect’ mix of family, friends, work, hobbies etc. is mission impossible. So don’t let that create unnecessary stress. There will undoubtedly be things you can’t partake in and you just have to accept that. Back to priorities. What is more important to you right now? What’s going to refuel you to achieve your short term or long term goals? Choose that! That might be a dinner date with friends this week or a solo gym session the next. Be aware of the points above, and try to establish a mix (think of a pie chart) that takes you closer to where you want to be. Fighting the impossible isn’t worth it to put your energy elsewhere.

My goal here is to have you thinking about balance differently than what society has us believing. Realize that balance is specific to you - no one else. Don’t for a second thing I have this totally figured out! I don’t. I don’t think anyone can. Life, responsibilities, and priorities are always changing and thus so does your balance. Your steady is defined by you. No one else.

Xx D

@loveyourselfxx