It's Time To Put Your Feelings First
Learning how to put your feelings first is difficult, but it is a skill we all need to learn.
I am constantly trying to take everyone else’s pain away so they can be happy, but sometimes forget to deal with my own mental health and emotions. I used to believe that if everyone around me was happy, so was I. However that’s not always the case. Obviously, it’s nice to help out those around you, but there comes a point when that starts to affect your mental health. Worrying about other people and pushing your emotions to the side is something we often do but don’t realize. Keeping the people in our lives happy will not necessarily ensure our own happiness. This is a common misconception.
Our own mental health is one of the most important things that deserves more attention. If we don’t care for ourselves and strive for happiness, our mental health could suffer. There is nothing wrong with wanting to help others and making sure they are happy. We just need to ensure that we don’t sacrifice our own happiness for anyone else.
It happens to everyone. People constantly say, “I felt bad” or “I couldn’t say no,” trying to justify their actions and decisions by saying they feel sorry for someone else.
I have struggled with this. I became so concerned about making everyone in my life happy and comfortable, I forgot about my own feelings and happiness. I focused all my energy on my family and friends. When I saw them upset or unhappy, I would do everything in my power to change that. By doing this, my own happiness is pushed to the side.
For example, if someone is feeling down or upset because of something that happened in their life, I will do anything in my power to make it better. It could mean standing up for them or simply taking them out for dinner or a movie. Trying to make this person feel better becomes an obsession of mine. They mean so much to me, and seeing them in pain upsets me, I want to make them feel better.
I’ve recently realized that this puts strains on relationships and can make you resent people. This isn’t good for your mental health and can change the way you feel towards them. It also gives the impression that your own well-being and happiness is not as important as theirs.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.
When making a decision, take a step back and ask yourself if this will affect you positively or negatively. Then, ask if there is something that can benefit both of you.
You are in full control of your emotions. You are the puppeteer of your actions and your life. Learn how to put yourself first. Do what’s best for you. Don’t put your happiness second because you “feel bad” for other people.
At the end of the day, it’s YOU who can make the change in your life to feel better. Don’t let anyone else influence your thoughts or actions. As much as you need to consider others’ feelings, start to consider yours first this time.
You owe yourself the love that you so freely give others.